IX

55

Wired wrong

I’m just wired wrong. What a shameful spectacle!
A short circuited, malfunctioning article,
broken beyond repair.
Therefore, it’s only fair
that to protect all the others from damaging them too
I don’t associate with them. That’s the best I can do.          

56

Men

Men are creatures I’ll never understand at all.
I simply can’t comprehend how any of them
who’s obviously desperate for love, even small,
changing girls ever so often lest a humdrum
overtakes his life, still rejects the only one
who truly wants to give all of her love to him.
If you’re really open to trying anyone,
why not her then? Why not give her at least a slim
hope, depriving you both of opportunity
to know each other a little better? Why is
she always the sole exception, to her pity,
to everyone’s love adventures. And why has this
been happening to me with every guy I have
ever fallen in love with? That’s a mystery
I’ll never resolve because I don’t approach love
like that, with a person-specific bigotry.

57

Ani tak, ani tak

Všimla som si jednu podivnú vec:
Podľa niektorých ľudí som sebec,
keď si radšej odstup udržiavam
od všetkých, ktorým priamo nechýbam,
aby som ich neobťažovala,
nech by som akokoľvek moc chcela
opraviť a zachovať si tieto
medziľudské vzťahy; no a detto
som vraj sebec aj vtedy, keď túžim
zblížiť sa a byť s niekým konkrétnym.
Nuž... Niektorým ľuďom nevyhoviem
nikdy, tak si radšej odstup udržujem.

58

On selfishness

Well, say: Isn’t it kind of phony that
the world labels you as a selfish brat
for needing someone to be your constant,
wanting to be on them co-dependent,
and wishing to give them your all in love;
while at the same time it promotes (sort of)
just a disparate kind of selfishness
by putting what’s really self-centredness
hidden behind the terms independence
and self-love in self-sufficience
above all, thereby basically forcing
you to feel ashamed and therefore swapping
one form of selfishness for the other?
And who’s now to judge which one is better
and which one is worse? What gives anyone
the authority when what preference one
has depends on what ideology
one leans to, as it informs their logic?
Sure you see this doesn’t make any sense.
The hypocrisy of it is immense.
So it doesn’t matter what I do when
I’ll be labelled the same either way then.

59

On likeability

They say: “Just let them be.
If they like you, they will
come round eventually,”
like it was no big deal.

But how can they know if
they do like me or not,
when they’re always so stiff
and stubborn that they don’t

ever even try to
give a chance to getting
to know me better, who
is just that much asking?

60

(Un-)love-worthiness

The world advises not to expend yourself on someone(s)
unworthy of your love. But who’s to determine which ones
are worthy of love and which ones are not? Who can so do?
Jesus teaches us to love everyone, even those who
see us as their enemies, and most of all those people
who seem unworthy of being loved or incapable
of reciprocating it, because they need it the most.
Shouldn’t all our loves be like that, no matter the cost?

61

Fatal

You and I, we’re fatal for each other.
We’re both being a rather negative
motivation with some quite positive
outcomes, though, in spite of all the pother.

My unrelenting interest in you
drove you to quit two of your additions
and, due to the pain of your rejections,
you have become my writing project new.