Love-Despair

I fell in love with you for a reason
which, I bet, no one else can give you.
I thought you were a right person,
but seemingly I misjudged you.
You were the first to raise butterflies in my belly
and to make my legs feel like a jelly.
But you don’t like me, you never did,
I always subconsciously knew it,
that there was no chance you ever could,
and that you wouldn’t change your attitude
no matter what I would do.
How could I ever think it might be true
that you’d never cause me any heart damage?
Yet, I regret I didn’t take advantage
of the many opportunities I had.
I wish I could get you out of my head.
I regret I’ve been reluctant-afraid to admit I love you
and didn’t at once ask you out and reveal my feelings to you.
I know it’s unwise to love somebody who’s taken,
so I don’t understand why I feel so broken
now when I saw you with her standing there,
a girl with whom I could never compare,
a pretty, tall blondie, the kind you’ve always liked.
I cry for I feel my heart you thoroughly piked.
I would never do anything to ruin your happiness,
yet I’m weak, can’t stand to see you happy with someone else.
I know the best what a miracle it is
to find someone who’d reciprocate your feelings.
But I’m perplexed as someone else you were trying to get.
Why then you couldn’t choose me when you knew what I felt,
when the former girl didn’t love you back?
Why wouldn’t you even give me a chance, heck?
The problem is I all too well know why.
You can’t command your heart as much as I can’t command my.
And maybe they’re all right
who say you’re not worth the fight,
that you’re just the macho type
all too well aware that his manhood ripe
many girls are charmed by, and
thus never in need of a potential girlfriend.
I hate myself for feeling the way I do.
I hate myself for loving you.
I hate it’s been thus for four years
and you only love me in my night dreams.
I wish you were mine or, if I could turn back time,
I wish to not ever notice you, then all would be fine.
I wish I’d never fall in love again
‘cause so far it never had a successful end.
Something must surely be wrong with me
always falling in love with some idiot
whom I shouldn’t love ‘cause he’s not even worth it,
who’d take any other girl, but wouldn’t date me
even if I was the only girl in the world.
And then it’s always me who gets hurt.