Manned up

I see that you’re all manned up now and
as successful in life as can be,
and while I do keep admiring you,
I’m also quite consumed with envy.

I wanted to be the one for you.
I wanted us to mature together.
I wanted to make a man of you
and for you to make a woman of me.

But you’re all manned up now already,
overlooking the sunrise from some
strange window countless mornings after…(?)
…having slept in a bed full and warm…

…after what I dreamt of giving you,
but I’m too far, in a cold, empty one.
Sure, there are many pictures of you
in which you’re still the cute innocent boy.

But there are also pictures in which
you’re all the more crave-able a man,
so worldly, busy, and confident,
while I yet and forever remain

the little girl by all forsaken,
lost in life, lonely, hopeless, and broken,
when I wanted to be at your side
and support you all throughout your life-ride.