Toxic

The guys I have loved so far are right:
my love is bad. It’s simply toxic.
My affection verges on manic.
That’s why everyone’s response is flight

even before giving me a chance
to get to know each other better
and try at least one date together
to see if it’d become a romance.

I fall in love way too naively
ever with guys who don’t ask for it,
and get too clingy, like addicted,
get too attached and love too deeply.

I love too much, it’s overbearing.
It quickly starts to suffocate them.
I guess that’s just not what makes a femme
to men attractive and alluring.

Ineptly, I start imagining
what being together would be like,
causing my amorousness to spike.
I cannot help it but keep thinking

how wonderful it would be. And then
I try too hard to make it happen,
and not succeeding, I soon madden,
to great disgust of the involved men.

My interest only ruins their lives.
What’s more, sadly, once catching the feels,
I’m unable to fall out for years.
And that only gives them the true hives.

They tend to look at me as if I
was an eight-headed fiery dragon.
They sure wish I was already gone
from their lives without saying good-bye.

Better yet, that I hadn’t entered
their lives at all. The mere thought of us
two together makes them go nonplus,
feel physically sick and fettered.

This results only in my heart-break.
I struggle to kill my desires
and put out the blazing hot fires
of my love. (Maybe I am a drake!)

I exert myself to give up on
my silly dreams of a happy end.
Instead, I strive to let it go and
remove me from their lives and move on.

However, I fail miserably.
I hate myself for being like this.
Now I realize how sick it is.
No clue what to do. But certainly

I do not want to experience
this kind of tumult ever again.
Nor want I hurt any other men
with my unrequested love. So hence

I solemnly promise to never
ever do it to anyone else,
because that, as far as logic tells,
is reasonable, if not clever.

Even though I may despair and moan
or cry tears to fill all the oceans,
’tis but one of the ton of reasons
why I should better remain alone

for the greater good of all.