XII

76

Fašiangový sprievod

Fašiangový sprievod je promenáda
maškár, strašidiel, bubákov a príšer.
V jej čele by som po správnosti teda
mala kráčať ja — najväčšia z príšer,
čo kedy žila; ktorej sa vyhýba
zo strachu každý. Kde sa stala chyba?

77

Fest čierny deň

Pre teba je to len názov
festivalu s kávou.
Pre mňa je to každý deň, keď
nemôžem byť s tebou.

78

Last Night

Last night we celebrated the birth of my second nephew
and on that occasion I couldn’t stop thinking about you;
about how, celebrating the first one’s birth at local pub,
me and my group of friends came across you and your fellows hub.
I was particularly reminiscing about how there
that night our eyes met and we shared that significant stare.
So when I came home last night I was so overcome with deep
sorrow and grief at missing you that I couldn’t fall asleep.
Instead, I cried. I couldn’t stop crying for quite a long while
and although I was trying my best to be quiet, my wail
woke my mum up. Oh, what a shame that she saw me in this state!
I hoped that if she confronted me in the morning ’bout that,
I’d blame it on being so drunk as not to remember
any of it. I truly wished that I wouldn’t remember
it. Unfortunately, I remember every single tear
I’ve ever shed for you. But despite that, I still crave you, dear.

79

Ako to nefunguje

V živote (aspoň v mojom) to predsa
nikdy tak nefunguje,
že keď niekomu prejavíš lásku,
tak ti ju opätuje.

To len ja blbá hneď opätujem
prejavy náklonnosti,
v ich úprimnosť priľahko uveriac
vo svojej naivnosti.

80

Čas rozpadu

Čím to je, že sa mi všetko rúca, rozpadá?
Nielen môj sen byť s chlapom, ktorého mám rada,
no aj zajac mi ochorel — hrozí, že ho možno čoskoro stratím,
a moje nové športové hobby bolo prerušené zranením,
akoby to už aj moje telo vzdávalo a rozpadalo sa,
keď v ňom kdečo vŕzga a pobolieva. Iba v práci mi darí sa.

81

Lucky few

Maybe love and happiness
are not for everyone,
just for a lucky few,
and the hapless rest of us
will never attain them
no matter what we do.

82

Big feelings

I have big feelings. I always feel too big,
too much, too acutely, and too intensely
for anyone to handle and not freak out.
Hence I wish I didn’t have them. Honestly,
I wish that I didn’t always feel as much;
that I didn’t always love so desperately.
I wish I didn’t feel anything at all
at best. Maybe then I wouldn’t, finally,
freak every guy out; they wouldn’t be afraid
of my love and just run away instantly.