XLI

279

In health and good

Since nobody wants me
in health and good,
may some sickness take me
soon and for good.

280

Chasing love

Love is not chaseable.
Either you’re loveable
or you’re not.
That’s that. Dot.

281

Opposites

Opposites attract each other, it is said.
And it appears that that is the reason why
a heart of gold always picks a heart of stone.
But, what is worse, nothing ever melts the stone,
no matter what you do and how much you try;
no matter how loving you are. And that’s sad!

282

Večery a rána

Každý večer sa
ti v predstavách túlim k hrudi.
Každé ráno sa
s myšlienkou na teba budím.

283

6 AM

It’s 6 AM; I’m waking up
and, looking out of the window,
I am reminded of how once,
near exactly a year ago,
you also woke up so early
and looked at the same sunrise then
as me, gleaning from the story
you posted to your Insta then,
and wonder where you are, honey;
out of what window you’re looking
and what you see out there right now;
whose arms are you waking up in.

284

On (in)visibility

I’ve spent my life becoming invisible
just because, growing up, being visible
usually meant standing in the way, being
a bother, and hence criticised (for existing).
Yet all the time I actually wanted to
be seen and validated and liked for who
I was and still am. So it meant a lot to
me when you saw me and, I thought, liked me too
for that one night; unfortunately, only
to react the next day like practically
everybody had before — mainly the men.
Thus I don’t ever want to be seen again
if it will always end just as horribly,
although I still crave to be seen desperately.

285

No touchy

I am not a touchy person
mainly because, growing up, touch
often meant hurt. I don’t even
remember having been hugged much.

So when I let you touch me, know
you are really special to me
and it means an awful lot, so
do cherish it adequately.