XVI

104

Antifelix Masculus

Ja dokážem urobiť chlapa šťastným
len keď sa oňho konečne zaujímať prestanem.
Naproti tomu, keď sa do neho zamilujem,
robí ho to vždycky iba nešťastným.

105

Small world

Life has a twisted sense of humour
and the world is often very small,
both these fact pricking where it’s most sore.
Thus it happened that after moving
I found out that your girlfriend’s namesake
lives literally beneath my floor.

106

Forrest and Jenny

Each of us has a part of both Forrest and Jenny
in them. Now let me explain how I mean it, honey:
You are part Forrest for always being on the run
and Jenny for repeatedly rejecting the one
who truly and unconditionally loves you,
while I am the Forrest faithfully loving you
and Jenny the collector from later, eager
for any news about you, however meagre.
 

107

At school gym

I hyper-focus on my work so that I’m not thinking
about your car right now parked at the school gym, wondering
what sports match is going on that you participate in,
and why every time I try to dis-knowledge
the fact that we both are from the same village,
as per life’s vindictiveness, I keep across you coming.

108

Vespa

It was three years ago on this exact day.
I remember well it was Easter Monday.
After noon I decided to go skating
and suddenly, as I was your house nearing,
there was you at the side of the road, getting
ready to ride your white Vespa, still being
quite new. Your dad was just walking towards you
and as you looked back at him, you saw me too
skating by. And so I caught a glimpse of your
beautiful blue eyes, which me so much allure.
from beyond the side rim of my sunglasses.
And I appreciate that, though the truth is
that I deliberately did not look straight
at you, feeling awkward and somewhat distrait,
and kept to the other side of the road since
this was but our second encounter since
you rejected me and the first since I sent
you my book including three poems ardent
dedicated to you. It was all the more
awkward as that morning I’d been hoping for
you to come visit us, me and my sister,
to carry out the traditions of Easter,
like you used to ere Corona. Anyway,
as soon as I spotted you there that Monday
I was actually considering turning
around before you looked at me and going
back in the direction I just came from, but
I assumed that would be too dumb, near dingbat
and cowardly thing to do and so I just
rode on past you. But shortly after I passed
you by there, you overtook me at the turn
of the road on your Wasp, and since I did yearn
for you still (as I still do), I kept looking
after you longingly, secretly hoping
you would have acknowledged me, which would make it
less awkward, until you in the distance did
disappear, wondering: Did you look at me
in the mirror then? What did you think of me?
Now you don’t ride your white Vespa anymore.
A white minivan you’ve exchanged it now for.
Did you buy and ride it back then only to
make company to the red one, hoping to
impress its owner, and when that didn’t work,
you’ve forsaken it? Or did she your heart break
and that’s why you no longer ride it, darling?
Oh, the stupid things we do when we’re loving!

109

Real nuisance

I hope you realise I’m not as crazy
as to call, text or email you every day;
or to make fake social media accounts
to try to maintain contact with you that way;

or to visit your bars and events that you
work at; or to send you every single one
of the poems I write for you separately
by traditional mail. I really hope, hun,

that you appreciate I don’t do any
of these things even though I just as well could
if I wanted to show you how much I love
and miss you. You know, near every day I brood

over you as I so much want to be with
and around you. Only then you would learn what
it means when someone’s being a real nuisance.
But I do none of those things as I do not

want you to hate me even more than you do
already, if that is even possible.
Only once in a while do I give you some
small tokens of my love. That’s my sole foible.

110

Least expected

People say love would come to you when you expect it the least.
And that’s exactly how it was with you. How could I resist,
especially considered you look like an embodiment
of my image of an ideal man, as if heaven-sent?
I hadn’t expected anybody to show interest
in me, let alone to take me dancing, chest pulled onto chest,
and ask me to become his dear girlfriend. But you did just that.
What a wonderful night! And so I started to believe that
maybe this was it — the unexpected love literally
come to me, which happens only to few and only rarely.
And so I definitely shouldn’t let this chance slip away.
Oh, how stupid of me! Because no one does ever relay
to you the second half of the saying: that in this fated
case Amor only strikes the one who wasn’t expecting it
but not the one who originally came looking for love.
So here I am once again, like before, desperately in love
with you when I didn’t expect neither ask for it, and you
are the one who ran away. Because that’s what guys always do.