Your resolutions

Should I be proud of myself for likely playing
quite the significant role in you resolving
to quit two of your biggest addictions — namely
drinking alcohol and killing time mindlessly
browsing one specific social site. (Oh, dear, you
talk about it as if you had been some drunk who
used to spend every evening in a bar drinking
himself unconscious, while that wasn’t happening.
Everyone knows that’s not true and that something such
was very infrequent. You didn’t drink so much
too often. That’s why it took you down when you did
and wiped your memory. You being addicted
to your phone and socials I indeed believe more.)
Why did you resolve to do it now and what for?
Have I motivated you — through the memory
of how we met and your knowledge that I tarry
(well, did) around still, eager for news about you?
Have I and my unrequested love thus done you
actually some good (though in some subverted way)?
Have I so just done you a good deed — would you say?
Have I and my lasting love, though annoying you
largely, finally proven good enough for you
in some respect and of good use and service too
after all — at least from a  certain point of view?
Am I again being a femme fatale, changing
another guy’s life for the better, although in
a wholly different way than I was hoping for?
See? Some good can come from what you deemed bad before.
Which means that I haven’t been loving you in vain,
our acquaintance being not only your bane.
And although I never managed to win your heart,
it seems I ended up playing a vital part
in helping you become a bit better person.
So cheers to me! And cheers to you for taking on
such resolves. (Yes, a deliberate joke on you!)
And cheers to alcohol and the relation you
had with it — whatever it was like — in the past
because it inadvertently gave me the best
day or, more precisely, evening of my life that
I want to — will always remember. And with that
I will always love you because, ironically,
you managing to quit these additions only
assures me that you’re the best guy I could wish for
and makes me fall for you and want you even more.